Rating: NC-17
Feedback: Hit me (Love tap!)
Summary: Part 4 of series. Faith and Buffy move in together...and then Faith does something that makes Buffy leave.
-Oralfxatn

The Incredibly (un)True Adventures of Two Slayers in Love:

Moving On Up

FAITH'S POV:

"That's it, baby. We're done," I say to Buffy, slinging my duffle bag over my shoulder. I take one last look around the room.

Yep, that's it.

As far as seedy motels go, I've seen worse. Don't get me wrong, this place really was a slice of hell, but I'd found some moments in heaven here too. It helped soften my perspective on it.

"Baby? What's up? We gotta motor. I told Red we'd meet her back at the Condo."

I got me a Condo.

Can you believe it?

I still get no response, so I walk over to the bathroom to see what the hold up was.

Hmm. No Buffy. That's weird.

"B??" I yell, and I see a figure jump behind the shower curtain.

I pull back the curtain to see a fully clothed Buffy sittin' in the tub. She's holding a withered old loofa sponge in her hands. She looks up at me teary eyed.

"What are we going to do without our tub, Faith? What's 'Bathtub' going to do without us?"

Her bottom lip is threatening to quiver.

She's severely sentimental...or just severely mental.

Buffy has the tendency to give certain inanimate objects emotional attributes.

Ceramic dwarves. A rain gutter. A sprinkler head.

That was during her gardening phase.

I even overheard her speak soothingly to a paint-chipped chair at a garage sale once.

"Don't you worry about that sign. I'm sure you're worth much more than a dollar. In fact, just think. I'm sure there have been many a successful persons that have sat on your seat. Maybe some little kids that have grown up to become lawyers or doctors or astronauts. Oh! I bet Donald Trump even sat on you back when he was still counting his pennies. See? You're really worth lots!" she said, stroking its back comfortingly.

Eventually she caught me looking at her, and she said:

"What, Faith? A dollar? After letting countless fannies sit on its backside, it gets dragged into a garage to be sold for a dollar? It's just not right," she said upset.

"Ssshh, B. Not so loud, it might hear you," I said, lookin' at the chair.

She made a face at me, then took a marker out of her purse and added a couple of zeros to the price. She looked at me with her eyebrows raised as if challenging me to say something.

I just shrugged, and said:

"Heck B, add another one."

She smirked at me like it was the silliest thing she's heard.

"A thousand, Faith? No one would believe that." And she walked away, trailing her fingers over old toasters and a dusty table of knick-knacks.

I looked at the old veteran chair and smiled. Metal, paint chipped, and a dent in three legs.

Sure, a hundred's believable.

"Let's go, B."

I dragged her away from an old rusty clock.

"Your face is still handsome. It has character," she said to it over her shoulder, as I pulled on her arm.

We got to mine and she sighed at me, exhausted. She flopped down on the bed, flat on her back.

"I'm emotionally drained," she said, propping herself up on her elbows.

"I'm not takin' you to any more of these, B. No pawnshops, no swap meets, and no junkyards. You need to stop talkin' to inanimate objects."

She pouted, "You talk to inanimate objects."

"No, B, I don't."

"Do too. You talk to my breast all the time."

"That's different, B. It's not inanimate. Plus it talks back to me."

She watched me as I approached the bed. She already knew what I was gonna do, but she let me anyway.

I slid between her legs and pulled myself up on her, stopping at her chest. I looked up and she was smilin' down at me. I moved my head to look directly at her left breast. I brought myself closer so my lips were a whisper away from her nipple.

I said:

"Hey, Mary-Kate. How ya doin', girl? And how's your sister, Ashley?"

And sure enough, Mary-Kate started talkin' to me, and a few seconds later her sister jumped in too.

She laughed and pushed my head away.

"That's not 'talking', Faith. But I will admit, they do respond to you."

"That's all I'm sayin', B. That's all I'm sayin'."

So now she's in the shower displayin' psychotic separation anxiety over a rust stained bathtub.

"Baby," I say, as I kneel down to her. I wipe my thumb across a tear, "Baby, it's just time, that's all. Think if the people that stayed here before us had never left. 'Bathtub' would never have gotten to know us, right, baby? And we never would have gotten to know 'Bathtub'."

Then I lower my voice so it doesn't hear me.

"Besides, baby," I whisper, "New 'Bathtub' is waiting for us. You don't want to hurt its feelings, do you?"

She sniffles a little and shakes her head. I drop my duffle and squeeze in on the opposite end. I hold my arms out to her and she crawls up on my lap.

"Thank you, Mr. Showerhead and Mr. & Mrs. Hot and Cold water," I say.

"And thank you, Mr. Drain Chain," she adds.

"And goodbye, Miss Loofa," I say, takin' it from her hands.

"No, she's coming with us," she says, holding tight.

I think of the weeks of dead skin that has accumulated on the thing, and I shudder. It's not touching my body again...or hers.

"No, baby," I say, gently takin' it from her death grip, "It's symbolic. We're shedding old skin and we're startin' fresh. It stays here, okay?"

She relents and I stick it back on the ledge.

I really scored with all that symbolic stuff. I didn't know she'd take to it like a duck's ass to water.

Buffy becomes so sentimental about leavin' this motel, that it almost starts doin' a number on me. I follow her eyes as she takes in the room. Defective mini-fridge. Cracked mirror and broken dresser. Skanky carpeting and a piss-stained mattress.

The place really was a dump.

Without the few things I owned and my killer bed linens to cover the mattress, it really was just a shit-hole.

Buffy snaps out of it.

"Yeah, it's time." She lifts her arms towards me and wiggles her fingers.

Oh. Right.

I sling my duffle bag further behind my back, and lift her into my arms. I walk us over to the open door and look at her.

She gives me a kiss.

And as we crossed the threshold, we both knew we were doin' it in more ways than one.

"You're all hooked up. Welcome to the wonderful World Wide Web," Red announces.

"Thanks, Red," I say, "Hey Xander, go long."

I watch him zigzag across my living room and then cut to the left.

"Hit me," he says, thumping his chest.

I raise my eyebrows.

Oookaaay.

THUMP!!...THUMP.

"Faith!" Buffy scolds.

I give an innocent look.

The first thump was the football hittin' Xander's chest...

...the second was his ass hittin' the floor.

Xander grins, lookin' up at me and rubbing his chest.

"Damn, if I knew you'd take it literally, I'd have said 'do me.' "

"Xaaaander," Buffy warns, drawing out his name.

I walk over to help him up, ruffling his hair.

"Nah, Xan. I'd just give you a Toni home permanent."

"Greg Brady was pretty cute," Willow says.

"Nope, Red. It's 'Marcia, Marcia, Marcia' all the way."

"But she didn't have a perm," Red tells me.

"I didn't say she did," I walk up to Red who is sittin' at the new computer Buffy made me buy. I pull up a chair.

"So it's as easy as Chinese math, is it?" I ask skeptically.

"Oh, totally," she grins, "I already downloaded your software and added some programs. You can ask Buffy if you get confused."

"You get into that stock market thing I told you about?"

"Oh, yes. It's right here, see? I put it in your 'favorites'," She clicks with the mouse.

"Fuji-Jitsu Technologies," she reads, "You're doing really well too, Faith. I guess he was telling you the truth."

I had met Ronald Fuji and Chuckie Jitsu at the poker game in Vegas.

Two young Japanese American entrepreneurs who were shakin' up the technologies field with their innovative and ground-breaking discoveries.

It really wasn't anything new, the discoveries, I mean, but the way they applied it was new and fresh. They combined eastern old world mysticism with western new age technology. I think others have tried it before but it never took.

It might have helped that Ronald and Chuckie's ancestors were shogun warriors sworn to honor and protect the assets of the emperor of Japan.

Before and after death, apparently.

Both Ronald and Chuckie find themselves possessed from time to time with these warrior's spirits.

Being the twenty first century kind of guys that they were, they didn't think gettin' all Samurai Seven would be of any service to their cause.

Instead, they look out for their ancestral country by investing and developing in occult based technologies.

That's where I step in.

It was wicked creepy watchin' their bodies and faces morph in and out with these shogun dudes. It was kind of like a semi-transparent image superimposed itself on top of their real bodies.

You know. Like at the end of Disneyland's Haunted Mansion when one of the three hitchhikers sits on your lap.

They were pretty surprised about it. They said it never happened in public before; only in the privacy of their own homes, or when in the presence of some great mystical force.

See? That would be me.

I guess the old shoguns dudes got all excited by bein' in the company of yours truly.

Me being a great warrior, and all.

Ronald and Chuckie took me aside and told me all about their company's goals and the one thing they desperately needed, but could not get a handle on.

A direct connection to the supernatural...the evil supernatural.

They had heard of the Hellmouth and knew of the potential evil gold mine to be harvested there, but had no means of harnessing it. Evil is as Evil does...

...and Evil does some nasty stuff. They want to transmute it.

Anyway, long story short, I ran it by Giles, who ran it by the Council, and they had the cousins checked out. They seemed impressed and said for me to "proceed with caution."

We still don't know what they want me to do. I don't think they do yet either.

But a Slayer in waiting is better than no Slayer in waiting.

So I was on call, so to speak. They put me on retainer and gave me some stock tips.

But what really sealed the deal was personal.

Ronald is a Friend of Dorothy's, and was ecstatic to do business with "family."

"What am I? Chopped liver?" his cousin asked, as he flipped through a newspaper.

"No honey, you're tube steak, but you're my first cousin so I can't even go there," Ronald drawled.

"You better not go there," Chuckie said off handedly, like he's said it a hundred times before.

I looked at Ronald, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, we're just kidding. We've had this same conversation since we were kids. He's totally cool with it. He understands that love is love. See, we eat at the same restaurant, but he orders the fish and I order the meat."

He looked at his older cousin adoringly.

"Isn't that right, Chuckie?" he asked.

"You better not go there," Chuckie mumbled again, not paying attention to us.

So you see, I'm kinda loaded.

I invested five thousand of my Vegas winnings in Fuji-Jitsu, and then another five thousand a few weeks later.

It's already tripled.

The gang didn't want to invest, not trusting the unpredictability of the market. But not me. What's the worst that could happen? I started with nothing, and I would end with nothing.

But what a ride in between.

The retainer the boys gave me was more than generous...

...four hundred grand.

It's good to be an Honorable Slayer Warrior.

Buffy and I immediately began scouring the good neighborhoods and the local newspapers for some new digs.

We found a super sweet deal from a gang of former Dot Com'ers who had lost their shirts when the Internet craze leveled off.

The condo they had was actually two condos they had joined together.

They had knocked down some walls and then added extensions to make it all one. It was pretty fucking massive.

One part was for their business; the other was for their residence.

Their business side had some desks, a large conference room, and a satellite TV screen the size of a third world country.

Yeah, they were livin' large...until they weren't anymore.

I got it dirt-cheap.

The residence end had two very large bedrooms with master baths attached. One was an upstairs loft with vaulted ceilings and a balcony that ran along side of the residence. The other was downstairs with an outdoor patio. Both were very cool. We had a nice sized kitchen with adjoining dining room, and then a guest bathroom next to it. The living room wall had been knocked out, and an extension put in to connect the two structures.

It was pretty big.

We were slowly furnishing it week by week. We were almost done.

The business side we used for training. We also kept most of our weapons there. The coolest thing about this room was the gigantic TV screen I mentioned. It took up most of one wall. The Dot Com'ers had four mini cameras put up in the ceiling corners that turned on with motion, following each movement. They used to have video conferencing calls, and the cameras were set to follow the motion and movements of whoever was speaking.

It was wicked rad.

When we train, you can see us super-sized on the screen. It also video records everything, so we can watch our moves later to learn from them.

But I have better plans for those cameras.

You know what I mean.

"Thanks Red, that's great. Now we just need to get me a set of wheels, and I'll really be able to motor."

"Oh, that's in your 'favorites' too. Buffy bookmarked it for you."

I peer over her shoulder as she clicks the address.

"Well, that narrows it down for me. What's she got on here? A hundred sites or something?"

"It's just one site, Faith. But it does have multiple links to other sites, which in turn links up to more sites."

"Like I said, she's got me hooked to a hundred sites."

She blinks at me.

"Um...yeah. I guess you're right."

Buffy walks up and puts her arm around my shoulder. She looks at the screen.

"What's she complaining about now, Will?"

"I guess clicking the mouse with her finger is too taxing for her," Willow teases.

"No, I've got better use for my finger," I say.

Xander chortles from the living room, "Yeah!" he exclaims.

Buffy pinches my ear lobe.

"That's enough, mouth."

"I've got better use for my mouth, too," I turn pullin' her into me.

"Yeah? I bet you do. Why don't you just kiss me with it for now."

And she leans her head down, and I do.

When we break, we notice a far away look on Willow's face.

"Um...that reminds me. Is it okay if I email Tara right now?"

"Go for it, Red. And tell T that her room is waitin' for her."

She smiles broadly, "Thanks, Faith. I will." And she starts typing away at the keyboard.

Tara is comin' out to stay with me for a couple of weeks.

After we finish furnishing the condo, we plan on throwin' a huge housewarming bash.

Buffy has agreed to move in with me, and we want to celebrate.

But back to Willow and T.

When we got back from Vegas --and Oz having returned with his band, A Dingo Ate My Baby-- Red had wanted to have a long talk with Oz.

She had waited a week to see if her feelings for the shy Tara would go away...but they hadn't. So she had decided to ask Oz his opinion about it.

It turned out to be short, and it went pretty badly.

She had explained her incredible connection and unexplainable attraction to her fellow Wicca, and she didn't know what to do about it.

Oz wasn't sure what that meant.

"Invite her over and do some spells together. That would be cool," he suggested.

Red blushed.

"I...um...well..." she stammered.

"Oh," he said, finally realizing, "Don't you love me anymore?" he asked, hurt.

"With all my heart," she said, tears in her eyes.

"Not all your heart," he said softly.

Willow had no answer for that. What could she say?

He was right.

There was a part of her heart that already belonged to Tara.

"But nothing happened..." she attempted to explain.

"...yet," Oz finished for her, "Let me get out of your way."

And he picked up his guitar and left.

Xander told us a few days ago that Oz had left town. He said that he needed some time to deal with this; that he needed to be alone. He told Xander that he'd contact him once he settled down somewhere.

He had left a note for Willow.

It said:

"A Wicca ate my baby."

I could have kicked his ass for that.

But B reminded me that Oz was a great guy, and that it was just his pain talkin'.

Red was a wreck.

She was filled with guilt and remorse.

Two things I know very well.

I had called up T immediately, and told her that Red needed her. She needed some of that major magick that they had shared in Vegas.

Tara called Willow, and we had all prayed that she'd be comin' out.

She's comin' tomorrow.

"Baby, do you think the new mattress will come by then?" Buffy asks.

She's referring to the fact that we'd be sleepin' on the floor upstairs if it didn't. We've been sleepin' in B's old bed that we took from her mom's house. We had put it in the room downstairs. The room Tara would have startin' tomorrow night.

Buffy wasn't sure if she should take her bed in the first place. She thought it might upset her mom, makin' her move seem more real.

"Oh goodness, yes," Joyce had said, "It takes up too much space. I was going to have Goodwill pick it up."

Buffy was floored.

"I barely tell her I'm moving out and she's got plans for my room already? And then she's just going to toss out my 'Bed'?"

Oh no.

I decided to step in before things got out of hand.

I walked up to the headboard of her bed and I whispered to it, but loud enough so Buffy could hear.

"Good Will is the name of a very nice man who is lookin' for a Good Bed. We told him, sorry, but no. You're comin', with us. We can't have a real home without you."

And I patted it on its head...um...board. Buffy smiled at me, pleased.

"That was nice, Faith."

"Thank you, baby."

And she began humming, packing up her toiletries.

Wheew. Another catastrophe diverted.

I am Faith. Supernatural Slayer Warrior and Diverter of Inanimate Catastrophes.

Ah, the crazy things we do for love.

"I don't know, B. Maybe we'll have to camp out on the floor. But I think we should let 'Bed' know how much we appreciate her tonight, don't 'cha think?"

"Oh, I think," she smiles and kisses me again.

Brrrrrrinnnng.

"Hey you guys, Cordelia just IM'd you," Red says.

"How she'd do that, Wills?" B asks.

"Oh...um...sorry. I kinda gave your address to a few people today," She looks apologetic.

"No, that's fine, Will. Cordy is okay."

I'm not sure what Buffy told Red about our 'ménage a' Three's Company' night with Cordy. She might not know anything.

"Uh...I think one of you better answer this," Willow says strangely, getting up to get a drink of water.

B and I look at the instant message and grin.

From Queen C:

Hello, my sexy Sapphic Slayers. Do u miss ur Queen?
I think u better get ur hot asses over here & worship my pussy.

Well, Red knows something now.

I message her back.

From Chosen Two:

No. u COME 2 our party first.
We have a nice Sandwich waitin 4 u.

She responds.

From Queen C:

Mmm. Slayer Sandwich? I'll gladly b
the piece of meat for those buns.

I look at Buffy and wink.

I message.

From Chosen Two:

Hey, Cor. Wanna hook up w/o Faith?
I'm dying 2 eat you.

Buffy nudges me.

She replies.

From Queen C:

Oh god, Buffy. I thought u'd never ask.
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes WHEN????

WHAT??

I look at Buffy. She shrugs.

Brrrrrrrinnng.

From Queen C:

PSYCH. Nice try, Faith. TTY Later.

Buffy laughs, "That'll teach ya."

Willow comes back with a glass of water, Xander in tow.

"I'm picking up Tara from the airport tomorrow at nine. We'll probably stop for breakfast then come back here around eleven or so. Is that okay?" She avoids lookin' at the computer screen.

"Sure, Red. Or you could come straight here and have breakfast in bed 'til eleven or so. It's up to you."

She smiles, "Maybe," she says coyly.

"Ah-hem," Xander interrupts, "If you ladies are done scheduling your sexual agendas, ya think you can pencil me in for some Playstation time?"

"Sure Xan, how about tonight?" I say.

"Uh no, I don't think tonight is a good idea," B gives me a look.

Oh. Playstation Splaystation.

"Fine, I get it. I'll just go pull up my usual seat at the Lonely Hearts club." Poor Xander.

We really need to get him a girlfriend.

He's the only one of the Scoobs that doesn't have one yet.

"Come on, Poor-Is-Me. Tara doesn't come in until tomorrow, so I'm foot loose and fancy-free. How about you take me out for a movie and a mocha?" Willow says, takin' his arm.

"Sure, Will. I'll warm you up for her."

Willow socks him on the shoulder.

"Oow. I meant with the mocha...a nice, hot, steamy mocha."

"Sure you did," Willow says smiling, "Let's go, stud."

And they leave, pokin' at each other.

I'm in a dark, deep cave.

I can barely see in front of me, but I can sense I'm not alone.

I can hear breathing and...whispering. Every once in a while I feel a hand brush up against me...or something flutter across my face. It's distracting. I wind my way through the cave and I hear moaning and...crying. It's disturbing. I feel myself begin to panic, not knowing where this was leading me, and I grope my way along, scraping my hands against the walls. Something lands at my feet and I stumble across it, losing my footing. At the last second, I grab hold of a crevice in the wall and right myself.

I'm frightened.

I can't breathe. I run my fingers across my face to remove the hair from my eyes, and I see a light...

...at the end of the tunnel.

I go toward it, first out of compulsion and then as a conscious decision. It begins to grow brighter and I have a feeling of hope...I must get to that light. As I get nearer, I hear faint laughter and a trickling of water.

What is it?

I stumble closer and a hand reaches out and grabs my leg...I trudge forward, dragging whatever it is that's clinging to me.

What is that light? What is that laughter?

Sensing my determination, the hand lets go, freeing me to run full speed to the sound that beckons me.

I emerge from the cave, and I come to a clearing that has a large pool of water.

There is a girl on the other side of it, and she's laughing.

I can't make out her features, but her hair is blonde and glistening from the sunlight. She's beautiful. I realize I need to be with her, to touch her, to hold her, and I stumble into the water. My boots are heavy and my leathers are soaked, but I struggle across to get to her.

I'm almost to the middle, when I feel the water reach my neck and then begins to go over my head...

I look up at the last minute, and the girl is looking at me. She's smiling and...eating cotton candy. She licks the sticky stuff from her lips and then takes a finger and places it in her mouth.

She whispers

"It's so good. Do you want some?"

I wake up from the dream to feel a soft tongue against my pussy.

Buffy.

I've been waking up to her havin' sex with me on several occasions.

And I usually wake up from a similar dream.

The girl is always out of reach, and she's always eatin' something.

Usually cotton candy, but sometimes it's a peach.

I must have moved, because she suddenly knows that I'm awake.

"Ssshh. Go back to sleep, baby," she whispers.

I settle back and close my eyes.

I let her lick me.

The first time I woke up like this, she was disappointed.

She said she'd been doin' it for days, and that I had never woken up before. She was afraid she might have gotten too rough with me, and that's why I had woken up. She explained it was something she wanted to do.

To make love to me, without my havin' to think about it.

She said I always thought about sex, thought too much about gettin' off, so that my body was used to coming quickly. She said when I'm sleepin' it takes longer, that my body responds differently in a relaxed state. She said it made her feel closer to me, in a way that my being awake didn't.

A quiet moment...like when you hum a lullaby to a baby that you know is already sleepin'.

That's what she said too.

She was humming a lullaby to me as I lie sleeping.

It freaked me out at first. I wasn't used to someone wanting to do something like that for me, and gettin' nuthin' in return.

It was obviously important to her, and I admit, it was not only sexy, but also satisfying.

For someone to love you enough to give you something you didn't know you even needed.

I know it now.

And she takes care of me.

As I drift off, I feel a sensation start in my groin; a warmth that spreads slowly from my center to my heart.

With a shudder, I sigh, and fall deeply back to sleep.

"Oh baby..." Buffy sighs.

I'm between her legs returning the favor.

Except it's several hours later, and I'm not bein' discreet.

It's her wake-up call.

I want her alert and aware when I make love to her. I'm selfish that way.

What can I say?

I like to hear her encourage me. It makes me hot.

"Yeah, baby...oh faster, Faith," she gasps, "That's it!...oh, that's it..."

I lick her clit faster, my own climax approaching as I finger myself. I usually don't touch myself until she's close. Well, maybe a flick or two. But I have to wait, or I'll come before she does.

Because I'm awake now, and my body behaves differently.

We both climax, and she pulls me up to lay on top of her. We kiss. She's suckin' on my tongue, tasting her pussy, and then she sucks on my lips.

" 'Morning sex breath', " she murmurs.

"The only agreeable kind," I murmur back.

She pulls me close and buries her face in my neck, my hair covering her.

"What's the matter, baby?" I ask.

"Nothing. I just want to lie here a little while longer. It's going to be a long day. You never know what might happen."

I don't like the way that sounds, but I don't let it nag me.

I lie on top of her and hold her for a while. I give little kisses on her head. She breathes into my neck, makin' my skin prickle.

I'm horny again.

I moan softly and press her into the pillows. Her head falls back and I kiss her passionately, her head makin' a small dent in the down feathers. I reach between us and spread both of our pussy lips; I bump our clits a little. She jerks in response.

I move my leg so I straddle her upper thigh; I angle myself better. Our clits make complete contact and I move. Our pussies are still slick from just minutes ago, so I slide easily against her. I restrain myself and go slow, prolonging our pleasure.

She likes it better this way.

She likes to make it last. The longer, the better.

And for some reason, I know it's especially important today.

After fifteen minutes of sliding and hearing her light gasps and moans; I begin to lose control.

I stop all movement.

Buffy stills herself beneath me, and strokes the sweat off my cheek.

"It's okay, baby. Take your time," she whispers.

I close my eyes and grit my teeth. I groan.

She wipes the sweat off my brow, then runs her thumb across my lower lip.

I catch it with my teeth.

After a long moment, I begin to move again, stopping periodically to gain control.

"That's good, baby, take your time. Go slow," she gently encourages.

I bite on her thumb and squeeze my eyes shut tighter.

It feels so good.

I regain my composure and get back into a smooth rhythm. Five minutes later I feel Buffy tremble beneath me.

"Uh...baby, ok. Let go now," she breathes, hard into my ear.

I begin thrusting faster, slidin' against her clit with increasing speed.

"Hnnnngh...baby...oh, Faith," she groans as we both climax.

My sweat has dripped onto her face and I lower my head to lick it. It's salty.

She smiles softly at me.

"Thank you," she murmurs.

"Any time," I mumble back.

Willow and Tara had come into the condo while we were in the shower.

We can hear pans and utensils clink and clang in the kitchen. Fresh brewed coffee attacks our senses.

"I'm starved, B. You?" I ask as I slip on a tank top.

"Way," Buffy agrees, putting on one of my ripped up Rob Zombie T-shirts.

"You look wicked bad in that, B," I say admiringly.

"Hmm. As long as I don't smell wicked bad," she says as she lifts up the hem to sniff it.

"Is it dirty?" I ask unconcerned.

"Not sure. It smells like you, though."

"Well then, it is dirty," I grin.

"I like wearing you, dirty girl, but a T-shirt is another story."

I walk up and sniff the armpits.

"Gross, Faith."

"Nah. It's good for another two wearings," I figure.

"Never mind. That answered my question." She pulls it off, reaching for another shirt.

Rage Against The Machine.

"That one's clean, B. I remember, cuz some chick threw up on it, and I washed it."

She raises an eyebrow.

"She a friend of yours?"

"For a night or two," I shrug.

"Of course, what was I thinking?" she asks sarcastically. She puts that one away too, holdin' it away with her fingers distastefully.

"You look good like that, baby. Let's go eat."

She looks down at her sexy sports bra.

"You think it's okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, B. We're all girls here," I say.

"True," she says, opening the door.

I get behind her and grab her ass, pushing her out of the doorway.

"All lesbian girls," I grin into her ear.

She flips around to go back into the room, but I catch her in my arms and back her into the kitchen, grinning.

"Come on, B. You gotta show'em why it took me so long to get out of bed. Don't want them thinkin' I'm lazy or something."

She smiles at me, lettin' me back her into the kitchen. We continue a backwards crab walk until she backs into a low kitchen counter. It catches her below her hips and I bend her over backwards, burying my face between her breasts.

She's laughing, puttin' her fingers in my hair.

"You nut. Get off me!" she laughs.

I love her laugh.

My baby.

"Make me," I muffle into her chest, clutching tight.

"WHO WANTS EGGS?" Willow says loudly.

Eggs?

I straighten up quickly, leavin' B bent backwards on the counter.

I look over at Red, my eyebrows arched with expectancy.

"Good save, Will. If there's one thing that can take her mind off of sex, it's food."

"And if there's one thing that can take her mind off food, it's sex," Willow says, matter-of-factly.

"We got that part covered already. Now my baby needs food in the belly. Isn't that right, Faith?"

I nod, lookin' back and forth between the two of them. The coffee and the bacon smell so good, my mouth begins to water and my stomach rumbles.

I'm hungry.

"O-o-oh-oh," Tara stammers, "Better h-h-hurry before the tiger gets angry."

I look over and notice Tara for the first time. I walk over to give her a soft hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, baby. Welcome to our home. Welcome to California."

I lean in and whisper:

"Thanks for comin'. I see Red seems better already."

I pull back and she smiles, blushing.

I think it's because of my words, but it could be because of my actions.

I think she has a little crush on me.

"Yes, Tara. Welcome. Mi casa est su casa...no...um...our casa est su casa," Buffy pauses, "I'd like to say my French is better than my Spanish, but I'd just be lying."

"I dunno, baby. Your French is pretty good. Especially when we're 'lying'," I joke.

We all laugh.

"So how many eggs, Faith?" Red asks.

"How many you got?"

Buffy looks at Willow, shakin' her head and smiling.

"Two dozen," she answers.

"That sounds cool. What are you guys havin'?" I ask happily.

Red looks blankly at me.

What?

"Yes, Will. She's normally an eating machine, but today she's extra piggish."

"Wanna tell'em why, B?"

I think of the four sexual encounters we had.

One after Red and Xander left last evening. Another when I woke up in the middle of the night, and then twice this morning.

Fuck, no wonder I'm starvin'.

"That's okay, Buffy," Red says quickly, "I think we can figure it out."

She turns and starts cracking eggs into a bowl.

I look over at Buffy and mouth the words "Four," and wiggle my eyebrows.

Tara says:

"I think she only wants four, Willow."

I whirl around to tell Willow that no, I want twenty-four, but then I hear Tara giggle.

Both she and Red are smilin'.

Ha. Funny.

"Don't tease the tiger, girls," Buffy smiles, "You don't want her to get cranky."

"But you got that part covered already," Tara and Willow say at the same time.

I laugh and point at B.

"In your face, B," I smirk.

"Maybe, but I think it's when it's in your face that matters," Willow says smartly.

Tara is laughin' so hard that she's hiccupping.

Damn, they are both on a roll this morning.

I try to turn it around.

"I thought you two would be havin' breakfast in bed...or is this your second breakfast?" I smile, smug like.

"Um, no. It's our first. Seeing as the bed was occupied this morning."

Oh. That's right.

Duh.

I throw up my hands, "Okay, I give up, you win. Spoils to the victor."

"No, that's okay," Red says, "Just say, 'Willow is King'..."

So I say, "Willow is King..."

"...and 'Cordelia is Queen'," she continues, with both eyebrows wiggling.

I look over at Buffy, shocked. She looks surprised too, but just shakes her head and laughs.

"HA! In BOTH your faces!" Willow shouts, gleefully.

And then she says:

"Ya mess with the Wicca and you're gonna get the horns."

We had moved Tara's suitcases from the hallway to the bedroom.

"Did...did you get your mattress yet?" T asks.

"Not yet, T. But don't worry about it. We can always sack out on the floor."

"We can make a tent...or a fort," Buffy offers.

"Yeah, B. Let's go camping," And I start to prance around the room.

"Cute, Faith. I don't think Ronald would appreciate you mimicking an effeminate stereo-type."

"Oh, he wouldn't care, B. He's butch and all that, but he's got a sense of humor. He can appreciate a little vamp action."

I think about it.

"Well, not vamp, vamp."

"Has he told you yet what Fuji-Jitsu wants you to do?" Red asks.

"Nope, not yet. We can ask him when he comes up for the party."

"Oh, he's still coming? That's great, I'd love to meet him," Willow smiles.

"He sure is. He's gonna spend some time with Giles, you know, get a feel for the Hellmouth, and then come party with us. He asked if we knew any cute guys, and I told him Xander was available."

Buffy smacks me upside the head, "No, you didn't."

I just smile and shrug.

Oh, yes I did.

I'm not sayin' Xander would go for it. He's as straight as they come.

But I thought it might be fun to watch.

"Speaking of which, baby, I need you to go over some of our party preparations today. We've only got two days left to nail it down."

"I'm all yours, B."

"And don't you forget it," she smiles.

Tara and Willow seem a little restless, and inch their way toward the bedroom.

"Hey, we'll be in and out of here all day. We'll try to stay out of your way. Help yourself to anything you want, and we'll see you guys a little later, okay?" I offer.

They smile gratefully at us.

"Sounds great, Faith. See you guys in a bit."

They enter the bedroom and go to shut the door softly. Their actions are subtle, so as not to draw any attention.

"YOU MIGHT WANNA CHANGE THE SHEETS FIRST," I yell loudly, not three feet from the door.

The door closes with a distinct click, and I hear giggling as a body leans hard against it.

" 'Ya mess with the Wicca and you're gonna get the horns,' " I grumble to the door, "You mean, TWO HORNY WICCAS THAT'S GONNA MESS AROUND," I yell louder.

More giggling from behind the door, then two other distinct sounds of bodies falling on a mattress, and then a creak from the bedsprings.

B looks at me.

"You're bad, Faith."

"I know, baby."

"Let's go check on the furniture." And she drags me off to verify our delivery time on the computer.

'Everything's in order', I think, borrowing a phrase from Giles.

Furniture, dance floor, food, and music.

And people. Lots and lots of people.

Each of us had told a few people, who in turn had told a few people, who...well, you know.

It was like one site with a hundred links.

We even had people comin' from as far away as L.A.

Okay. Cordelia and Angel, but still.

A couple of weeks after our menage a' 'Three's Company', Cordy had packed her bags and set off to be discovered on a stool sipping a coke at a soda fountain counter.

Except the soda fountain counter turned out to be a FAT BURGER and nobody cared.

Not knowing anyone else in town, she had looked up Angel.

She hadn't seen him since Graduation day at Sunny D high.

Graduation.

I can still feel a sharp pain in my gut.

Not from the knife Buffy sliced me open with, but from the events that took place that I helped create. Besides the heinous massacre that happened, I could have actually had a hand in killin' the people that I now loved. That I actually always had.

I was just too fucked up to know it.

Buffy tells me not to think about it anymore. That it's all in our past.

In our Dark Days.

She says it's like an eclipse blocking the sun.

"Those memories can't change the past," she told me gently, "But it can effect our future. I need you here with me now, baby, in the present....it's like an eclipse blocking the sun," she had said.

In a nutshell?

Soul boy took pity on the poor girl, and took Nora Desmond in...

She was definitely no Lana Turner.

I guess he figured she'd starve to death if she kept deluding herself with acting.

He was always doin' stuff like that.

Anyway, the place should be jumpin' with people.

We got three couches and several chairs for the living room, lamps, a table or two. Stuff like that.

We're havin' food catered from the local Deli. Platters of finger foods and other easy things to pop in your mouth.

We got sodas, seltzers, and booze by the barrel....okay, by the bottle, but we got a lot of bottles.

But the coolest part, again, was the training room.

We had rolled up the floor mats, and rented a wooden dance floor. We hooked up with a DJ that knew Oz, and he has a lighting system complete with disco ball and strobe.

He's even got a fog machine if we want it.

But remember the four cameras?

Willow reset the specs so they wouldn't overheat and burn out from tryin' to catch all the motion. Now all four cameras move on a timer. Every thirty seconds. The huge screen is gonna look wicked cool with all the lights and sweaty bodies movin'.

I plan on spendi'n most of my time in there. I can't wait to let loose and dance my fuckin' ass off. It feels so good.

We're pretty excited. Everyone's comin'.

Even Giles and Joyce.

Not together.

But who knows, they could wind up leavin' together.

It's not like it's a complete impossibility.

The last couple of days ran smoothly. Willow spends a lot of time here now that Tara's arrived.

B seemed a little jealous at first, but not too much. I guess she now knows what Red felt like when she first started hangin' with me.

"Oh, Buffy. It's just a Wicca thing. You couldn't understand."

Yeah. I bet that smart. I think Red was givin' it to her a little.

So the party is tonight. Just a few short hours away.

We're pretty amped up.

Buffy had another moment like the other day, when she wanted me to hold her in the morning. She really clung on to me and I even saw a tear or two.

She said it was just opening jitters, cus of the party.

Of course I had to make a joke about me making her opening jitter.

I made a joke because it started to nag me after all.

Buffy is usually pretty right-on with premonitions, and we've all learned to listen to her.

But she wouldn't say anymore on it, so I let it be.

The DJ came a few hours early. He took command of the training room, and set up all his stereo equipment and lighting. He was way excited about the cameras and the big screen.

Well, at least we think he was excited.

"Bitchen. This rocks."

It's easy to see why he and Oz were friends.

And we did ask, when Willow wasn't around, but he said he hadn't heard from Dog boy since he split.

The first people to arrive were Giles and Joyce.

And no, still not together.

They just happened to show up at the same time.

Boy, was that awkward.

We were all still runnin' around, tryin' to get things together before more people showed up. So we left them with drinks and a place to sit on the couch.

"Ah...um...Yes," Giles would said.

"Quite," Joyce would reply.

Maybe it was code for something, cus it sure didn't make sense otherwise.

Giles would fuss with his glasses and cluck.

Joyce on the couch, sittin' forward with her legs tight together, holdin' her drink with both hands.

I almost said, "Heya, Joyce. Almost didn't recognize you, with your legs all together like that."

But I think the fluffy cat T-shirt I got her from Vegas, was the last time she'd allow me to get away with anything like that again.

Besides, she was painfully uncomfortable anyway.

"Ah-hem. May I offer you another beverage?" Giles gets out.

"Oh yes. With alcohol, please. Make it a double."

Poor Joyce and Giles.

I think it was the band candy incident that changed the rep that most school bands had to deal with.

Suddenly it became Sunny D's coolest clique to be in, and everybody was signing up to play an instrument.

Pretty soon more people showed up.

In fact, they were comin' in droves.

My buddy, the bouncer from the Bronze, said they had closed up early cus nobody was comin'. He pulled up a stool by the front door and said:

"Hey, I'm still on the clock. You might as well put me to use."

So we got ourselves a bouncer.

The place got so packed it was almost claustrophobic.

Xander had to make a few extra booze runs, cus everybody was drinkin' like fish. I guess we should have gotten barrels after all.

I had lost Buffy a while back, but then I spotted her standin' by the refrigerator. It was kinda weird, cus she was talkin' to Candy, the waitress from the Espresso Pump that I used to...well...pump.

Oh shit, I thought. Here comes trouble.

But then she turned around and it wasn't B after all.

But she sure looked a lot like her.

Minus the lip piercing, of course.

Wow. That's fucking wicked far-out.

She was like B, but with an edge.

"What are you eyeballing, slick?" Cordelia says to me.

She had come solo, Angel being afraid that the party would last until dawn, and well... dawn and Angel don't do so well together.

Dawn. As in the early portion of the day.

Just in case you were wondering.

"What? Oh, nuthin'," I mumble.

"Sorry, let me rephrase that. Who were you eyeballing?" Then she spots Candy and goes all nutty.

"What is she doing here???"

"I dunno. It's a party, Cor."

"You didn't invite her, did you Faith?" she accuses.

"I didn't invite two thirds of the people here, Cordy. But no, I didn't invite her."

"Oh shit, Buffy is talking to her. Oh my god, what is she wearing?"

Something not very Buffy-like. Which made sense, seein' as she wasn't and all.

A really trashy tube top, circa 1975. It actually looked pretty hot. Super tight bondage pants and quite a few silver bangle bracelets and some kick-ass rings.

The fuckin' bitch was rockin'.

Cordelia narrows her eyes, "That's not Buffy. Unless she was eating sushi with the hook still in it."

"Fucking rad, huh, Cor?" I stare at the girl.

"She doesn't look that much like her. Okay, maybe for a second. But Buffy doesn't look like that...unless she's started doing crack or something. Did Buffy start doing crack, Faith?"

I scowl at her. I get her meaning.

"Of course not, Cordy. Geez, give the girl a break already. So she's into alternative fashion, so what?"

"No, Faith. Alternative fashion is a three piece leisure suit or Parachute pants and a Member's Only jacket. This girl is wearing yesterday's trash."

"Different strokes, Cor."

"Get over it already. Dance with me." And she drags me to the dance floor.

The place is packed wall-to-wall with sweaty bodies...the music was pumpin' and the big screen was jumpin'.

Every once in a while the DJ would hit the fog machine and it misted up the place real nice. It felt cool against my sweaty neck.

Someone passes me a drink and I guzzle it. Damn, I'm so thirsty.

Cor and I move our way further into the middle of the floor. I start to spin, and people moved out of the way to give us more room....

Fuck, I miss this.

The DJ had asked what type of music to bring, so I gave him a list. I told him anything else was okay, but he had to bring what was on the list, too. He said it wasn't a problem. He had them all.

I guess he saw me in the crowd, cus he started spinnin' the CD's I asked for.

"Fuck, Faith...you're whirling like a dervish, are you on herbal stimulants again?"

"Nope, Cordy. Shut up and dance with me."

And I take her hands and hold them up in the air as we move.

I start to move us around the dance floor, spinning and pullin' her to me, running my fingers through both our hair. Someone passes me another drink and I down it.

I don't know what it was, but it was sweet and now I'm even thirstier.

Fuck, it's hot in here.

We pass by a table with some long necks on it, and I grab a couple.

I open my throat up and let the liquid pour down. In my hetero days I was pretty good at givin' head. Fuck, I'm still good at givin' head.

I just prefer the soft stuff now. It strikes me as funny, and I throw back my head laughing.

Fuck Fuck Fuck this feels FUCKING good.

I down two-thirds of the next bottle, when suddenly it's snatched from my hand.

What the fuck?

"Slow it down, River Phoenix. You don't even know whose drinks these are. That's not very smart, Faith."

"Relax, Cor. They were both full, so no one's touched them."

"Well, that's insane logic."

"Pull the stick outta your ass, Cor. Either shut up and dance with me, or get the fuck off the floor."

"I'm telling Buffy," she says, and pushes her way off the dance floor.

Whatever, you fucking narc.

I spin around and put my hands in my hair, then in the air.

It's much better this way anyway. I can really let loose and not worry about hittin' her precious face with my elbows.

I really don't give a fuck about the rest of the people.

Either get with the program, or step the fuck off.

I look at the DJ and he gives me a thumbs up. I flip him off.

He grins at me. Yeah. At least he gets it. And right now he's my fucking best friend, cus he's got the music and the music's got me.

I get between a couple that's dancin'. I turn my back on the girl, and I let my hands slide down the guy's chest while he smiles at me...

And then I shove him hard, turning around to face his girlfriend. I put my hands around the back of her neck and I smile, pullin' her near to me. I bring her closer and move my body to sway with hers, keepin' our faces just inches apart.

She's surprised, but she slowly smiles and gives me a nice sexy look.

I laugh and spin her around, pushing her back to her boyfriend. Fuck it's hot in here. Where's that drink?

Someone give me a drink!

Did I say that out loud?

Cus suddenly three hands are in front of me, each holdin' a different kind of drink. Hell, why not. I smile and take a shot of tequila, lickin' the guy's neck for salt. I bite him.

I take the next drink and make a face. We bought umbrellas? Shit, that should have warned me. Gross sickly sweet Mai Tai or something. I grab the Corona and tilt my head back; I chew on the lime and then grab the guy and kiss him, shovin' the rind into his mouth with my tongue.

Yeah baby, Faith is BACK.

The music suddenly changes in style, and I recognize B's song for me.

Sonique. I made sure I put it on the list.

B.

Where is my baby?

I need to dance with her.

She should be here shortly, cus we promised to dance to this song together.

You always make me smile...when I'm feeling down...
Your love it feels so good ...
And that's what takes me high...higher than I've been before...
...your love it keeps me alive
Thought I should let you know...that your touchin' means so much.

...It's you I'm always thinking of.

"BABY!" I yell, "Baby, WHERE ARE YOU??"

And then I feel her hands wrap around my waist, and I lean back into her.

B. My baby.

I lace my fingers on top of hers and bring them down to my thighs...I run them over my hips and dip toward my pussy. I shove our fingers between my legs and she rubs me.

Fuck.

I pull them over my stomach and onto my breasts. I squeeze my fingers on hers and she massages them, teasing the nipples.

Shit.

I pull our hands higher and run her hands through my hair. I spin, pulling her into me, and I kiss her. Mmmm. She tastes like cloves. Her lips are so sweet. I run my hands over her ass and pull her tight to me. We grind. She's tonguing me up and I let her.

It feels so FUCKING good.

Something bumps against my lip. She got a snaggle tooth or something? But then she sucks on it, and I don't care anymore. I love when she sucks on my lip.

She makes me so hot, I swear I'm seein' double.

Suddenly everyone looks like Buffy.

My baby in my arms, and the pissed off lookin' chick next to Cordelia.

Cordelia. Fucking black cloud.

Yeah, you gonna go narc to Buffy? Well, she's right here in my arms, and we're doin' just fine, thank you.

Go rain on someone else's parade.

I feel like fucking.

Nobody is gonna miss us if we have a private party of our own.

I whisper in her ear:

"Let's go pitch a tent, baby. I wanna fuck you on the floor."

She grabs my hand and pulls me off the dance floor, pushin' people out of the way.

Haaaaa...my baby is HORNY for me.

I'm gonna fuck her good.

I turn around and wave to the DJ. He looks at me like I've got two heads.

Like he's scared or something. What the fuck is his problem?

He's not my best friend anymore.

I've got all the friends I need right now. And she's gonna fuck me 'til my head spins.

We stumble through the living room. The sweat must be pourin' in my eyes, cus I can't see very well.

Everything is so blurry. Fuck it's hot in here.

Hey, it looks like Joyce and Giles are still here too. I grin at them as we rush by, stumbling.

They both look kinda weird. I guess they figure that me and Buffy are gonna go fuck, and it's freakin' them out.

Sorry.

Your little girl, and your little Slayer, ain't so little anymore.

In fact, she's a pretty big horn dog. Just look at her pullin' me across the room!

Buffy tries to open Tara's bedroom, but I pull her back.

"No baby, upstairs, remember?"

She ignores me, and keeps tryin' to get the door open. I think it's locked.

I hear the black cloud's voice comin' from the kitchen.

" ...what are you gonna do about this? You can't let that skank crack-whore get away with it. DO something for god's sake!"

Whatever. I guess she did find someone else's parade to rain on.

Buffy finally remembers that we're stayin' in the loft. She pulls me up the stairs, and I fall giggling.

"Damn, Baby. Cool your jets, I'm not goin' anywhere."

Fuck, she's horny. She's draggin' my ass up the stairs, damn near pullin' my arm off!

We don't have any lamps or anything in here yet, but the moonlight comes partially through the balcony French doors and I can see her eyes starin' at me.

She's like a cat.

She pushes me on top of the comforter and the blankets on the floor, and starts makin' out with me. She unzips my leather pants and it rips.

Oh-oh...

Oh, fuck it. I get her top off and I'm suckin' on her nipples.

Both of them.

Hmm. Her breasts seem a little bigger. I can't always get both of them in my mouth at the same time. I must be gettin' good. I run my hands over her ass and I tug at her waistband.

I tap her.

She ignores me and keeps kissin' me, fuckin' with my nipples. Hello! I'm tappin' your ass. That means unzip your pants and help me pull them off, remember?

I'm about to say something to her about her rude behavior, ignoring me and shit, when the door bursts open and a sudden stream of light comes pourin' in from the hallway, blinding me.

I blink and put a hand up to shield my eyes.

"Get the fuck off her, you skanky whore," the black cloud snarls.

Buffy stiffens and looks up at her.

"Fuck, Cor...it's not Three's Company right now. But if you ask me real nice, maybe I can talk Buffy into it."

"Faith, you are totally fucked," she says to me.

Yeah, okay.

So I'm a little fucked up...but what of it? It's a party, for fuck's sake.

"Who's Buffy?" Buffy asks.

What? She hit her head or something? She's actin' like a loony tune. She snags me with her tooth, ignores me at Tara's door, drags me up the stairs, ignores my tapping...and now she's asking who SHE is?

She's Bizzaro Buffy.

Cordelia's not playin'. She's plenty pissed.

"You've got until three to get your carcass off of her. One, two...Fuck this!"

And Uber bitch yanks my girlfriend up, and slings her out the door.

"Heeey..." I say.

"Shut up, Faith. You've really done it now. You've just embarrassed Buffy in front of the whole party, not to mention her mother and friends. I don't think you can fix it this time."

I get pissed.

"What are you talkin' about? Buffy wanted it as much as I did. I can't help it if Joyce's daughter is a horn dog. Why does everyone always assume that it's me?"

"Because it is you, you retard. You can't be serious! That wasn't Buffy, Faith. It was crack-whore fashion victim."

I blink. What?

"Who? You're crazy, it was Buffy."

"No, Faith, it was Candy's friend."

She looks at me for a minute, and then softly says:

"I'm taking Buffy back to L.A. with me. You need to get your shit together. Please, Faith. You seriously need to snap out of it...or you're gonna lose her."

She turns and leaves, shutting the door behind her.

Leaving me, and a sliver of moonlight, alone in the darkness.

BUFFY'S POV:

I'm so numb I can't feel anything.

I have goose bumps, so it must be cold, but I don't feel anything.

I push in the cigarette lighter. When it pops out, I bring it to the palm of my hand. I smell flesh burning but I don't feel anything.

I picture Faith kissing that girl and running her hands all over her...and I don't feel anything.

"Are you fucking insane, Buffy? Don't do that," Cordelia takes the lighter from my hand.

I lean my head against the window and close my eyes.

Why can't I feel anything?

We're almost to L.A. We should be there in a few minutes.

There being Angel's.

He's waiting for us.

Cordy had called him from her cell.

"...it's really bad, Angel. Like you and Buffy, bad. She's practically comatose."

I heard her say more words, but they began to drone. I'm numb and everything sounds like humming.

All I can think about is that I knew it.

I knew something bad was going to happen.

I felt it two days before, but since nothing happened that day, I had tried to ignore it when it happened again this morning. Or yesterday morning, I guess.

It was almost four o'clock the next day now.

Besides the whole thing just being a fucking nightmare, seeing Faith kissing and groping that girl on the dance floor to my song...seeing the DJ's face as he looked at me, realizing that it wasn't me dancing with Faith...and the people smiling and crowding around them, oblivious to my pain.

And Cordelia taking my hand and squeezing it; seeing Ronald and Xander, Willow and Tara, all looking at me with such shock. All of that, and what really sticks out the most in my mind is my mom's face and the look of disappointment from Giles.

I felt like a ten year old, with one hand down my pants and the other one in the cookie jar.

I felt so ashamed and that I got caught.

But now I'm just numb.

Cordelia parks the car in the underground structure of the hotel and grabs my bags. She puts her arm around my waist; as much to steady herself as it was to steady me. She was struggling with the bags. I really didn't care.

Leave them.

The elevator rides up, and the doors slide open to show Angel standing there. Concern and love on his face.

I start to collapse and he takes me in his arms.

"I'll take this up to a room," Cordelia says, and leaves me with him.

He holds me as we stand there; it seemed like an eternity. And I remember when I used to cry hoping for moments like this.

But now I just feel numb.

He tries to get me to move, but I'm frozen. He waits a moment longer, and then lifts me into his arms and carries me upstairs.

He takes me to his room.

I don't move as he lays me gently onto the bed.

He kneels by the side and takes my hand. He looks at it for a long time and then he brings it to his lips, kissing it.

I feel nothing.

He looks at me and so many emotions pass on his face.

I remember again how I would always look at him, praying for some sort of sign to show itself so I could know whatever it was he was feeling.

I don't remember ever seeing it quite like this...

...but still I feel nothing.

I'm over him.

And then I crawl up into a little ball and finally let myself cry.

I've just lost the two loves of my life.

"...for the sixth time, no, you can't speak to her. And even if she wanted to, I don't think I'd let you," Cordelia says into the phone.

Faith has been calling nonstop since nine o'clock this morning.

We were all still sleeping, but the machine had taped her messages.

"Baby? Buffy, baby, please pick up the phone. I need to talk to you," she said, still a bit slurry.

And:

"Goddammit, Angel. Put her on! Take your fucking dead hands off her, and hand her the phone!"

Followed by cursing.

And:

"Hey, Cor. How's the DEA doin'? You fucking bitch narc."

Followed by a lot more cursing.

And:

"Buffy? Baby, I love you. I didn't know. I swear...I didn't know."

But now we were awake, and Cordy's been fielding the calls all day.

This was the sixth time she's called since we've been up.

"That's real nice, Faith. Why don't you go fuck yourself with that mouth?"

I can't take it anymore, so I go back upstairs to Angel's room.

He's sleeping, and I crawl into the bed to curl up next to him. I want to take comfort in the warmth beside me, but there just isn't any.

Living corpses don't generate much heat.

I remember my morning wake-up call from the day before, and the warm feeling it always gives me.

Not just from what she was doing to me, but from her body as well.

Faith is so hot-blooded, you can just feel the red liquid coursing through her veins.

I shiver.

I pull myself closer to Angel and snuggle.

Better a dead body, than no body.

I never used to think of him that way.

He used to make me feel so alive, that I didn't even care that he wasn't.

But it suits me fine this way.

I know that he's dead, and it fits the way I feel inside.

There is no conflict.

I continue to hear the phone ring every ten minutes or so, until it becomes every twenty minutes and then every thirty.

Then it just stops.

I try to take comfort in that she's given up, but then it starts to fuck with me, and I get up and go downstairs.

"I think she's finally fallen asleep, Buffy," Cordelia says as I look at her.

She looks at me closely, and I can see dark circles under her eyes. It's taken a toll on her too.

"Thanks, Cor. For being my friend," I say.

"Of course I am, Buffy. But I'm Faith's friend, too. To be honest with you, and to be fair to her, that girl really did look like you. A skanky you, but she did look like you."

I know what she means, because a few people had pointed that out to me. Tara and Xander, for two.

I had looked at the girl closely and thought so myself.

A hard-core version of me; something I knew would be attractive to Faith.

I had found out she was a friend of that coffee cunt and was about to throw their asses out, but then I saw them arguing and the coffee cunt left.

Fine by me. I never thought my doppelganger would be the real threat.

Cordelia had assessed the situation and quickly packed some bags for me. She told my mom and Giles where to locate me, and left Willow and Tara in charge of the fort.

She had asked Ronald not to let this effect any of his business decisions concerning Faith.

He smiled understandingly, and then he had said:

"I'm no stranger to drama. Love can be a bitch."

Faith had been right about her feelings about him.

"Do you want to talk to her?" Cordelia asks me.

I shake my head.

"Didn't think so," she said, spreading some cream cheese on a bagel, "Here, eat this. You look like you're about to keel over."

I take it from her and devour it.

She raises her eyebrows at me and hands me another.

"Careful, I started out with five fingers and I expect to keep it that way," I look at her apologetically, and take it gently from her hand.

"That's better, Buffy. Why don't you try to get some rest before the phone starts ringing again."

"No, that's okay, Cor. Why don't you go get some rest yourself?"

She smiles ruefully at me.

"No, no rest for the wicked I'm afraid. It's partially my fault this happened anyway."

"Why do you say that?" I ask surprised.

"Because I knew something wasn't right. She was acting like the old Faith on the dance floor and I ignored it at first. It was so fucking sexy, I didn't want her to stop." She looks at me embarrassed.

"That's okay. She's hard to resist that way. It's not your fault."

"But it is, Buffy. When she started drinking anything she could find, I knew there could be a problem. I know she can normally hold her liquor, I wasn't worried about that, but her blatant disregard for what could be in those drinks alarmed me."

"But that's when you went to come find me," I tell her.

"Yeah, but I didn't right away. You were busy talking to Ronald and Willow, so I decided to go to the bathroom. I waited in line for a while before I remembered you had one upstairs. It was only after that, that I came and got you."

"How long do you think that was?" I ask wondering.

"I don't know. About four songs, maybe?"

Four songs? Lets see, we're talking about the long versions of Chinese Burn, Killing in the Name of, More Human Than Human, and Closer.

Because that's when the music changed, and then Sonique's It Feels so Good came on.

That's plenty of time for whatever was in the drinks to metabolize in her Slayer's system.

My girl was fucked up.

But I don't care.

"She still should have known it wasn't me. I know when it's her a block away without even seeing her."

"But you've never been fucked up like that."

"Then she shouldn't have let herself get fucked up," I say defiantly.

"I don't think she did. Not consciously anyway," She looks at me with those dark circles, "Look, I'm not saying you shouldn't be mad, but just consider the circumstances."

"Oh, but I am, Cordy. That's what pisses me off."

She shrugs, "Okay, suit yourself," And she makes me another bagel.

A few hours later the phone starts ringing and Angel answers it.

He's awake and he's rather cautious around me.

We're distant.

"Angel Investigations," he answers.

He glances at me and says into the phone:

"No, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not up to anything, so there's no need for you to come down here. No, I'm not...no, she's not...no, WE'RE not. Stop thinking that way, you're only making things worse."

She thinks we're up to something. Good. Let her.

"I slept in my own room...and she slept in hers," he lies.

Cordelia looks at me, knowing better.

I ignore her.

I go upstairs to Angel's room and shut the door. I'm not dealing with this.

A few minutes later, Angel knocks at the door and lets himself inside. I'm lying against the headboard clutching a pillow to my chest.

I hear the phone start to ring again downstairs.

"Buffy, you can't keep avoiding her. She's hurting real bad, and you can't let her go on like this."

"What about me? I'm hurting too," I say angrily.

"I'm not saying you aren't. But I think you're more pissed than actually hurt."

"What would you know about that? I recall feeling that way for you and it never seemed to bother you."

He pauses.

"That isn't true, Buffy. You know it bothered me. But that couldn't be fixed and this can."

"You gonna try and fix this too, Angel? You care more about my relationship with Faith than you did about ours?"

I'm being a bitch and I know it. So he shouldn't have let himself into the room.

Okay, so it was his room, but he's the one who put me in it.

He gets a no-nonsense look on his face. I hate that look. It usually means he's gonna say something I already know but don't want to hear.

"You're a big girl now, Buffy. You were a child when you were with me. You acted that way because you didn't know any better, but now you do."

I just look at him.

"I know that we're over. I knew that the minute I kissed your hands, before you crawled into a fetal position and cried yourself to sleep. I knew it wasn't me you were crying for. It was Faith."

Emotions cross his face. I can tell he's hoping I'll deny it.

I just say:

"Leave me alone."

He looks at me one last time and walks out the door.

I'm restless again. Something is stirring inside of me and I know it's not hunger.

I'm horny.

I'm just so used to having constant sex whenever I wanted it, which was whenever she wanted it, and that was all the time.

Plus that sick jealousy thing I get that always makes me horny when I see or think of her with another person.

Whack-job Buffy.

I fidget awhile to keep myself occupied. I twiddle my thumbs. I shift around on the bed to get more comfortable. I pick at my cuticles and stare at my nails. I need a manicure. I start to touch myself, but then hurl my body from the bed and head downstairs. I inch myself to the door, listening to Cordelia on the phone.

" ...and you can stop calling too, Willow. What is this, tag-team dialing? Buffy doesn't want to talk to any of you. If she did, don't you think she would have called you by now?"

It's kind of true. I hadn't really thought about what Willow was thinking. I only called my mom to tell her not to worry.

She kind of pissed me off, too.

"Buffy, I understand you're embarrassed. Believe me, I've been embarrassed by Faith too...no, never mind when, that's not the point. But we had a long talk and I believe her. You need to come home."

"I'll think about it," I said to her, and then I hung up.

"Oh, that's real nice, Willow. Your mouth is worse than Faith's. Why don't you go fuck yourself with it, too? Or better yet, why don't you go fuck EACH OTHER with it?"

Heeeey. Okay, that's one visual I won't get off on. That's just oogie.

Cordelia hangs up the phone and sighs. She looks up at me.

I shake my head. She shrugs and goes back to what she's doing.

I wander back upstairs and go into the room that Cordelia put my bags in. I reach inside and pull out the dirty Rob Zombie T-shirt that Cordelia had accidentally packed. I hold it to my nose and take a deep breath.

I feel a pang so deep in my chest that it nearly knocks me over.

I crawl into the bed and pull the covers over my head. I fall asleep holding her dirty shirt close to my face.

I wake up to the phone ringing at one thirty in the morning.

It rings and rings and rings. No one is picking it up, and the answering machine isn't either. I figured that Cordy was probably asleep, but where was Angel?

I hadn't seen or heard him since I told him to leave me alone.

Why isn't that machine picking up?

After the twentieth ring, I go downstairs and answer.

I hear Willow.

"Listen, you WEAK MINDED WHORE. If you don't put Buffy on THIS instant, I'm seriously considering putting the mojo on you. Tara has the final ingredient ready to go. You HEAR me, you ADDLE BRAINED BITCH??"

"Will, it's me," I whisper.

"Buffy? Oh thank goddess! What is going on? Why are you there? Faith needs you, come home now."

"I really don't think it's any of your business, and I don't care what Faith needs," I say forcefully.

"None of my business? Have you been smoking dope? She made a mistake and now you're making a bigger one. Buffy, it's all of our business! Did you forget that we live on the Hellmouth? Word has already gotten around that the Chosen Two are having a spat and the whole fucking place has come unglued. The WHOLE FUCKING PLACE! It's just crawling with vamps and demons and more are coming. Buffy, we just came back from patrol and everybody's freaked out. Ronald got too close and Giles had to take him to Sunnydale Memorial. Xander got a dislocated shoulder and Faith is getting the crap beat out of her. She made us leave cus she said she couldn't handle it alone and watch over us," she pauses.

"Buffy, we're scared. We're okay, but she's gonna get herself killed."

"I'm leaving now. I'll get there as soon as I can." And I slam down the phone.

I don't know how, but I need to get there.

I look up to the top of the stairs and Cordelia is walking down, she's carrying my bags.

"How?" I simply ask her.

"In a limo with Angel. Ronald already ordered it, and it should be here now. Don't worry, this is Los Angeles so the windows are plenty tinted. We have a lot of celebrities here who don't want to be spotted. Angel will be safe."

"How did you know?" I ask, as I throw on some clothes from the bag.

"I didn't. I overheard Angel on the other line talking to Ronald. I'm assuming something bad has happened."

"That's an understatement," I say, lacing up my Nikes.

"Whatever it is, Buffy, that's making you go back, you better make sure you fix this thing with Faith. I hate to be the one to remind you, but Slayers don't have a very long life expectancy. I'd hate for you to find out the hard way."

"I almost did, Cor...I almost really did." And I lean over to give her a quick hug and grab my bags.

She looks over my shoulder, and I turn around to see what she's looking at.

Angel is standing by the front door, and he's holding it open.

He's dressed in his trademark black trench coat and dark clothing.

I see the look on his face, and I feel an immense love for him. I feel something for him again, and it feels right.

I smile gratefully at him as I rush through the door.

"Angel, we need to motor."

We get there in record time.

The driver had been instructed to drive as fast as the car allowed, and that all repercussions would be dealt with. Plus, Ronald had offered him a thousand dollar tip.

We had a little over a couple hours left before sunrise.

Angel was able to help, and thank goodness, because Willow was right. The place was swarming with Evil.

It was like Mardi Gras, Hellmouth style.

The limo driver speeds away with a squeal of tires after dropping us off at one of the cemeteries.

Faith was going it alone, and she looked battered and weary.

A vamp comes up behind her as she's fighting off another from the front, and he whacks her hard on the back with something. I hear a loud whoosh of air escape her as she falls forward, staking the vamp in front of her.

He turns to dust, and since nothing is stopping her, she falls to the ground. The vamp from behind jumps her but she turns at the last minute. She pulls her knees up to her chest and catches him on his ribcage, hurling him backwards and slugging him hard in the jaw as he flies over her.

I hear a splinter of bone cracking before he lands with a thud.

In less than a heart beat, she's up and over him, driving a stake into his chest.

Angel had gone off in the opposite direction, chasing a gang of vamps that went running when they saw us. I run over to Faith, leaping over headstones and hurdling myself towards her. She spins around before I reach her.

Her eyes are wild and her hair is everywhere, she has her arm poised back to strike. She looks me over quickly to see if I'm hurt, and then she smiles, relieved.

"Baby, I thought I felt you. Are you okay?"

She felt me and was concerned if I was okay!

I feel so ashamed. I throw myself into her arms, burying my face in her hair.

"I am now, Faith. Can you forgive me?" I choke into her neck.

She kisses my head and strokes my hair, "That's not even a question. Let's go home, baby."

I pull back and look at her.

"Angel is here," I say quietly, wondering what her reaction might be.

"Then he'll come, too."

And we go off to find my former lover...and hopefully, our new best friend.

"...Soul boy always comes through," Faith had said to Ronald, explaining who Angel was and why he meant so much to us.

Ronald had been released from the hospital late afternoon.

He had a bruised rib and a nasty black eye, but nothing serious or life threatening. His shogun soul mate had made an appearance, and he had kicked a little demon ass. He was proud of himself.

"Girl, I gotta tell you. The last time I felt like this was in Palm Beach, with hundreds of sweaty, half naked men and a bottle of poppers up my nose. This was positively euphoric!"

"Um...yes...well, Ronald, I'm sure that's a valid comparison, but you really should feel quite proud. You handled yourself as a true warrior would," Giles says, a little embarrassed by the gay talk.

"Oh, Professor Higgins, I know. Nothing like a little slaying to get one's blood up, wouldn't you say?" he teases Giles with a mock English accent.

"Or something up," Xander jokes, relieved he's not the only one receiving Ronald's teasing.

Ronald looks at him and smiles.

"I didn't think you noticed. How terribly smashing of you," he winks, teasing them both at the same time.

He notes the look on Xander's face. Xander looks like he regrets having drawn attention to himself. He shifts his arm uncomfortably in his sling.

"And however gallant you were in coming to my rescue, I regret to inform you that our love affair is over. I've moved on to someone else...but we'll always have Paris," Ronald adds wistfully, pretending Xander's facial expression is grief.

"You mean the Hellmouth," Faith corrects.

"Have you been to Paris lately? It is a Hellmouth," he quips.

Giles looks rather uncomfortable, thinking perhaps his affections have moved on to him.

"Um...well, yes, Ronald...I..." Giles attempts to form a sentence.

Ronald laughs.

"I don't mean you, sweet cheeks...or would you prefer sweet breads?"

"Um, neither, actually," Giles says, red in the face.

Angel comes in and says:

"You ready to go, Ronald? The limo's here. I had Cordy set up a room for you."

"I meant him," says Ronald with a wicked grin.

We all turn around and look at Angel, smiling.

"What? Did I miss something?" Angel asks, mouth open and confused. He looks over at Ronald.

"I'll explain it all to you on the slow drive back. Don't want to break any speed limits, you know."

Angel shrugs, "Whatever you say, partner," And then he smiles.

As Ronald says his goodbyes to everyone, I see Faith take Angel aside to speak to him in a low voice.

"Sorry for bein' such an asshole, Angel. You know I didn't mean anything by it. I really appreciate you comin' out here to help me, and for takin' care of my...um...well...I mean, your girl," she stammers.

Angel looks her in the eyes, and takes her into his arms for a big hug.

"You're both my girls, Faith. But as far as the other thing goes, she's not my girl anymore. She's yours."

I see her hug him tight, and then he laughs with a wince.

"Uh, that was a good thing I said, Faith. I'm glad I didn't say anything that could be misconstrued!"

She pulls back wiping a tear from her eye, laughing.

"Shut up," she says.

"No, you shut up."

"No, you shut up."

"I know you should, but what should I?"

"YOU SHOULD REALLY SHUT UP, ANGEL!" she shouts at him.

And as they fall out laughing, I find myself falling in love with the both of them...

All

Over

Again.

FAITH'S POV:

My baby's back and I couldn't feel better.

Which is sayin' a lot, considering.

After a few tearful apologies and explanations we decided to drop it.

We didn't want to have another potential eclipse on our hands.

A few days later Willow, Tara, and Xander came over to watch the videotape of the party...Buffy and I were sparring in the same room.

" 'Sex dwarf...isn't it nice, luring disco dollies to a life of vice', " Xander sings pointing to the screen, "Look at that red hot mama go! Where the hell was I for some of that action?" he grins broadly.

"Oh...oh my goddess. Xander, t-turn it off," Tara stammers, "N-now!"

As I go to look over, a vicious upper cut nails me hard in the jaw.

I go flyin' across the room, my ass slidin' across the floor as I hit it, sending me full force into the couch that the gang is sitting on.

"Uh-oh," Xander says as he and the girls lift their legs. My head comes crashing with a bang into the sofa by their feet.

I look up and blink...

All three faces are lookin' down at me, they all still have their hands clasped around their knees to keep their feet off the floor.

Like I'm a fuckin' vacuum cleaner or something.

Xander makes an 'oops' face at me, "Sorry, slick. Didn't know it was you," he grins.

I look at Red and Tara, but their eyes are back on the screen. So is Xander's.

Oh fuck.

I stay on the floor, with my head in a weird angle, and look up at the screen.

Oh fuck fuck fuck.

Super-sized sexy Sapphic Slayer in slow motion.

How'd that happen?

"And this, boy and girls, is what happens to you when you mix your drinks and don't know what else is in them," Buffy says, like she's instructing a class.

She has a remote control in her hand.

"Notice the non poise and non elegance of each movement. Here is when our subject appears to be fondling the boyfriend of the young couple, but oh, look, she shoves him backwards and spins non-gracefully to grab the girlfriend by the neck instead. See how she teases the girl and then non-gracefully spins her back into her boyfriend, throwing her head back and laughing like a maniacal mad woman?"

Xander and the girls giggle. Great.

"Oh look. And here is when she appears to be screaming for another drink --as if she really needs one-- and three helpful by-standers rush in to be of assistance. Tequila shooter? Oh yes, see her lick the boy's neck for salt. And then she bites him in gratitude. Very nice. Next, a very close call of an umbrella being crammed up her nose, but she avoids it at the last minute. Notice the grimace on her face? Mmmm, must be tasty. And then finally a bottle of Corona with a lime stuck in the opening. But not for long, boy and girls, because watch how our subject skillfully sucks the wedge with her tongue, and then chews on it before cramming it into the mouth of the unsuspecting boy."

She freezes the frame showing my tongue coming back out of the boy's mouth. And then zooms in.

It's really disgusting.

"Any questions so far?"

They all grin and shake their heads.

"Good, then let us continue," And I groan from the floor.

Everyone laughs.

"Okay this next part is my favorite, and I'm sure to be yours too. Pads and pencils ready?" she asks.

All three heads nod vigorously.

"Good, so take note. I'm going to do this a little differently from before. I'm going to play this at normal speed and then I'll rewind to pick up the finer points. We don't want to miss anything."

"This is fun," Willow says, forgettin' I'm just inches from her ankles. I lean over and bite one to remind her.

"Oow. Sorry Faith, but it is."

Tara grins as if to back her up.

I don't remember the evening very well, just bits and pieces and what people have told me. So this is new to me too.

It's 'Must see TV. If you haven't seen it before, then it's new to you.'

Yeah, this is probably something Monica and Phoebe would do to Joey.

Cus there's no doubt in my mind that I'm the Joey in this group of friends.

Buffy hits play and the music comes out blaring at regular speed.

Ah god, its Buffy's song for me.

Buffy refrains from commenting, as the whole sordid misunderstanding plays itself out on the screen.

It's pretty brutal.

I'm yellin' for Buffy, but I'm callin' her baby, and then two hands snake around my waist.

It shows me grab onto them and then run them all over my body, stoppin', of course, to stick our hands between my legs. She zooms in quickly and you can actually see the girl rubbin' my pussy underneath my hand.

Fuckin' technology.

"Oh boy," Xander says, squirming in his seat. I can't tell if he's turned on, or afraid of where this was leading.

Hey, I'm in the dark here too. She zooms back out while I take the girls hands and run them through my hair, spinning around to kiss her.

She zooms in again as I tongue the girl up, my jaw movin' and my tongue licking her lower lip.

I know I shouldn't think this, but DAMN I look good kissing someone.

I'd do me.

Aha! Look, you can see my eyes squint shut as the lip piercing snags me. I'm about to say something, but then I catch myself. I already feel like I'm on trial, so why would I incriminate myself by saying I knew something was different?

If I knew something was different, then why did I keep going? Why didn't I stop to look?

Shut up, Faith.

She zooms in closer as the screen shows me whisper something in the girl's ear. Thankfully no audio was heard on that, the music being too loud. I can just imagine what I said. All I remember is my wantin' to fuck Buffy's brains out.

And I would have too, if it had been her.

Ah god.

Now part of me is gettin' horny.

The pussy part. My clit is throbbing.

She zooms back out as the girl drags me off the dance floor, shovin' people to get out of our way. Then it looks like I turn back to wave at the camera before rushing off the frame.

I waved to the camera? That looks incriminating.

I hadn't realized I was holdin' my breath until I heard the sound of my exhale. Then I heard three similar exhales from above me.

No one's giggling or smiling now.

I think they think I'm in for world of shit.

"You know what, guys? That concludes our lesson for today. I've changed my mind about the slow-mo part."

Buffy flips off the TV and the screen goes blank, "Remember that evil lurks in unknown drinks...and don't forget to floss."

Everyone rises off the couch, and I grab Red by her ankle.

She looks down at me. But just literally, I hope.

"Hey, Red. I thought you fixed those cameras to move every thirty seconds. How come they stayed on me the whole time?"

"It didn't take. I only got the two cameras to work, the others shut down completely. One was pointed to the middle of the dance floor, and the other one leaving the dance floor. Hence, it was all you."

Yeah, I should've figured.

Her spells sometimes work that way too.

I get up off of the floor and I'm alone.

Red and T went off into their bedroom, and Xander went out the front door, mumblin' something about needin' a girlfriend.

I have no idea where B went.

I go over to where the videotape is, and I take it out. I pull the tape from its reel, winding it around my hand, then I snap it off. I toss it in the trash.

We've all seen it, no need to keep it as a family favorite.

The condo is quiet, except for the soft whirring sound coming from the central air unit.

The Wiccas are quiet in their room.

I head up the stairs, and Buffy is sitting at the vanity brushin' her hair. We had gotten the rest of our furniture so everything was in place.

She looks at me in the mirror as I approach.

"You mad at me?" I ask quietly.

"Not really."

Oh?

"You sure?" I ask, slowly approaching her...but ready to back the fuck up if she changes her mind.

"Pretty much," she says, continuing to brush her hair and lookin' at me in the mirror.

"Ya know B, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but hearin' that song made me kinda horny."

"Oh really? Just the song?" Still brushing and lookin'.

"Pretty much," I say and I walk up behind her. It seems safe, so I take the brush from her hand and start doin' it for her.

"Faith?" she asks, now just lookin' at me.

"Yeah, baby?"

"What did you whisper in that girl's ear?"

Uh-oh. It's not safe...but I continue to brush her hair anyway.

"Um, well, remember I thought it was you that I was talkin' to, okay?"

"I will."

"Uh, okay. Well, I think I said something about wantin' to fuck you on the floor," I'm not lookin' at her reflection; suddenly her hair and the brush have all my attention.

"Look at me," she says.

I look in the mirror.

"Show me," she says.

I hold up the brush.

"You really are a retard, Faith. I mean show me how you were going to fuck me on the floor."

Aaaaaaaah. My baby is HORNY for me...my real baby.

"I don't know, sailor. Buy me a drink first," I say coyly.

She turns around and tackles me to the floor.

"Oh, no...no more drinks for you," she says, tickling my sides and makin' me laugh.

Our giggling soon turned into moaning. She really was horny for me. I try to put myself back in the mood I had when I thought it was her I was gonna fuck. It wasn't hard to do, since the video pretty much brought it all back.

I was feeling raunchy and randy, and just plain fuckin' nasty.

"You want me to fuck you?" I say roughly.

"Yeah," she says underneath me.

"You better say 'yeah', cus you got no choice in the matter," I reach over and pull down her zipper.

"Where should I fuck you first? In your pussy or your ass?" I tug at her pants.

"You decide," she says, lifting up her hips. I slide her pants down.

"Good answer, cus you got no choice in the matter," I reply, lifting off her shirt.

"With what should I fuck you with first? My mouth or my fingers?" I take off her bra.

"You decide," she gasps as I take a nipple in my mouth.

"Good answer. Cus you got no choice in the matter." I pull down my pants and struggle out of them.

"Close your eyes," I tell her, and she does. I suck quickly on her other nipple and then stand up to take the rest of my clothes off.

"Keep 'em closed," I say sternly.

I walk over to the nightstand and open up a drawer. She can hear what I'm doin' and she makes a small noise.

"You know, don't you baby? You know what I got for you."

"Yeah," she breathes, eyes shut tight.

"What? What do I have for you?"

"Godzilla."

"That's right baby, and I'm gonna fuck you with it. You're gonna fuck me with it." She lets out a whimper.

She looks so sexy, all naked and submissive on the floor.

I kneel down between her legs and she spreads them wider.

"Open your eyes, baby. Look at what Faith brought you."

She opens her eye,s and her pupils practically dilate. It is pretty massive.

But she'd only be takin' half of it, cus the other half will be inside me.

Godzilla is our black twelve-inch double-headed dildo.

He's a monster for sure, but we didn't want a snake reference, for obvious reasons, like graduation for one, so we decided on Godzilla. It got the job done.

"You want I should fuck you with this instead?" I ask, knowing the answer.

She whimpers.

"No? I'll just go put it away then," And I go to stand up.

She grabs my arm.

"Yes," she whispers.

"I'm sorry, baby. I still can't hear you. Did you say no?"

"I said yes."

"Good, cus I was gonna anyway," I push her breasts together and slide the thing in between. I slide it up towards her neck and say:

"Suck on it, baby. Make it wet for me," And she lowers her head to catch the tip in her mouth.

Fuck!

I keep slidin' the thing up between her breasts and she takes it. She doesn't deep throat as well as I do, and frankly, it's a fact I'm happy with, but she does a decent job. She's got about five inches in her mouth.

"You keep that up, baby. I'll tell you when to stop."

I put her hands in place of mine so she can hold her breasts together. I kiss her with the cock in her mouth. I run my tongue over her lips and the part of the dick that's stickin' out from it. I flip over into a 69 position, straddling her waist, and I lower my head to lick her pussy.

She's already wet.

I run my tongue up and down her slit and then tongue her hard...her pussy tastes so good. I feel her run a finger up my pussy, dipping in a little then back out again.

She plays with my clit.

I pull my head up and say, "Take it out, suck my pussy."

She puts her hands on my hips and pulls me back, I move until I can feel her hot breath on my pussy. She flicks her tongue out, catchin' my clit. I lower myself until I'm square on her face and she licks me. I can feel the dick lying in between us.

She moans against my clit and it jumps.

We lick and suck each other, and then I break our contact, turning back around to look at her.

"I'm gonna fuck you real good, baby. You want that?" I kiss her hard.

I feel her grab the dick and slide it downward, it bumps against my pussy.

"Wanna fuck me with it?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"Oh fuck, yes," she breathes.

"Go to it, then," And she goes to sit up but I won't let her, "No, I've changed my mind. You get to wait."

"I don't want to wait," she complains.

"Too bad, cus you got no choice in the matter."

I grab the lube and put some in my hand, and then rub it in hers.

"Stroke it," I nudge her hand to the dick.

She grabs it and starts spreadin' the lube on it; up the shaft, to the head, then back down again.

"Pretend it's mine, baby. Make me feel good."

And she starts strokin' faster, up the shaft and pinching the head, and then back down. She repeats this over and over.

"Oh yeah, baby. That feels nice. See how hard you make me?"

She leans up to suck on my lip. I let her.

"Put me inside you."

And she puts in the head. I slide down and watch it go in, licking her clit.

"That's it, baby, a little more."

I lick her sticky fingers as she holds onto the thing. I close my fist around the remaining portion and lube it up, makin' it wet to the end of the other tip.

I slide my hand back to the middle of it, and start to push it gently, back and forth, seein' more and more of the dick go inside of her.

She groans.

"You feel me, baby? You like that, don't you?" She moans a yes.

I latch my lips around a nipple and fuck her slow.

She's got her sticky hand in my hair, and she's holdin' on tight.

"Oh yeah, Faith. You feel so good inside me. Fuck me, baby. Give me more."

I keep the same pace.

"More, baby..." I push harder until I see another inch go in.

"Oh yeah..." she moans. She moves her hips under me, tryin' to get more inside.

"Me," I say. I angle the dick so it bends a little in the middle and I rub the tip against my pussy lips. She grabs my hand and shoves it upward, sliding the cock inside of me.

"Oh fuck, baby, push it," I groan to her.

She half sits and moves her leg so I can put mine over her thigh. I grab onto her shoulders and lean back, pullin' her closer to me, and the cock slides further into both of us until there is less than an inch remaining between us. She starts rockin' her hips and I feel the dick hit hard inside of me. I push back. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I move mine to hold her beneath her arms and around her back.

I pull on her, "Push it, baby, fuck me with it," I breathe into her ear.

I pull a hand back and slide it in between us, playing with a nipple. She pulls her hand back and does the same to me.

We fuck each other, rockin' back and forth, lifting our hips and slammin' down harder with each thrust. We are both startin' to sweat and I lick her chin.

"You're so hard, Faith...you're tearing me up!" she cries out, leaning back hard on her elbows.

Her eyes are closed, her lips are parted and she's breathin' heavy. I lean back and grab onto her thighs, they're slick, but I manage.

"Fuck me, baby. Push harder, I want to feel your pussy on my clit," I tell her.

I let out a loud groan.

She had lifted her hips and thrust hard into me, her clit was now rubbing against mine.

"Faith, you make me insane!" she shouts, leaning up to grab my fingers from her thighs. We grasp each other's hands and start pullin' each other, a see-saw motion...her and then me...me and then her.

The dick is fuckin' us both, and our clits bump against each other, makin' me throb and anticipate the next contact.

"Baby, I'm gonna come soon. Are you ready? You're gonna come with me," I tell her with a growl.

"Yes..." she groans back.

"Good..." I pull her roughly to me and kiss her, bucking my hips as I feel both of us begin to climax, shoving harder into her...and makin' the dick shove harder into me, "...Cus you have no choice in the matter."

Starving!

I stiffen my spine and sit up straight at the dinner table.

I eyeball all the cartons of steaming delicious Chinese food that's laid out like a feast before me.

A bona fide post fuck feast! My favorite!

"I can fix her a plate, Buffy. Go ahead and serve yourself, okay?" Willow says.

"That's okay, Will. It's probably my fault she's so hungry anyway, so I better start shoveling the food. I strongly suggest that you and Tara take as much as you want, because you'll be sadly surprised if you come back for seconds."

Red looks at me eyeballin' the food.

"Come on, Tara. You grab those two cartons, and I'll take these."

Then Red looks at me, but says to Buffy:

"If the plates aren't big enough, Buffy, there's a trough out back."

"Ha. Good one, Will," Buffy smiles, piling food on my plate.

Why does everyone talk about me like I'm not in the room?

So I say:

"Uh, hello? I'm right here."

"I'm hurrying as fast as I can, baby. Have a cookie."

What?

Tara and Red look at me like I'm some sort of a slave driver.

Oh no.

"No baby, that's not what I meant," I say quickly.

"I think it's very nice the way Buffy takes care of Faith. Don't you, Tara?" Willow interjects, ignoring me.

"Uh-huh," T grins.

"She wakes up at night to sex, then she has sex again when she wakes up. Oh, sometimes in the afternoon, and always each night before bed."

Buffy nods her head not lookin' up, busy fixing my plate.

"Yep," she says.

"And then, Tara, she's always hungry afterwards. You saw her eat two dozen eggs for breakfast, and all those 'Wimpy burgers' for lunch..."

I love 'Wimpy burgers'!

I'll explain later.

"And now, tonight, she's gonna break poor Buffy's wrist from all the food she demands to be fed."

Tara shakes her head in sympathy for Buffy's plight.

"And after all of that, Tara? She criticizes that Buffy just isn't fast enough for her."

Buffy and Tara both shake their heads now.

"It's just one big vicious cycle for Buffy, but for Faith? Well, she's just living the life of Reilly," she finally concludes.

Life of Reilly.

Not R-I-L-E-Y.

In case you were wondering.

Buffy finishes piling the food, and puts the plate in front of me.

"Yep, just one big vicious cycle," B echoes.

I look at them surprised.

They're kiddin' me, right?

Then Buffy leans down and gives me a kiss.

"Just kidding, baby," And pulls back smiling.

Red and T are grinning.

Ha. Funny.

"Go ahead, have your fun with me. Pass me the soy sauce, will you?"

"You mean the sodium sauce?" Buffy says.

Tara hands it over.

"You know the salt always makes you bloat," Buffy warns.

"Yeah, 'H.R pufnstuf' " Willow says.

"She doesn't need any help, 'Witchiepoo'," I say, dismissing her.

I pour the black stuff all over my rice...and my noodles. What the heck, the soup too.

"You...you missed a spot," Tara says, teasing.

I stare her in the eyes and pour the rest of the bottle, raising it high.

Buffy laughs.

"It's not like it's hurting us...although we do have to look at you."

Whatever.

"Pass me the hot sauce, will you, T?" She's the only helpful one.

Xander walks in with a big bottle of the stuff.

"Here ya go, sport. I saw you were running low, so I picked you up a bottle."

"Cabinet next to the sink," Buffy says.

"Two boxes and a case in the pantry," Willow adds.

I am spoiled.

Xander looks at the food, rubbing his chest.

"Mmm, Chinese. What, no 'Wimpy burgers'? 'I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today'."

I raise my left hand, cuz I'm shovelin' food with the other.

He slaps me a high five.

"No, she decided to have a little Chinese with her soy sauce."

He puffs out his face and squints his eyes, then he does the Edward G. Robinson cartoon voice from Courageous Cat.

"Aw, aw, cuz I'm the frog, seeeee?"

My hand is still raised, so I just flip him off.

Okay, obscure cartoon references.

1. Wimpy Burgers from Popeye.

Wimpy is always beggin' for burgers, saying "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

But it's never just one. It's a platter full of plain lookin' hamburgers, piled high in tiers with cartoon steam rising. As a kid I never had enough to eat, so it always made me hungry. When I got older and had my own money, I'd go to Mickey D's and order a bag full of regular hamburgers, plain. I used to eat them right out of the bag...but after B heard about my childhood memories, she'd unwrap them, nuke them, and serve them to me on a plate.

Steam rising.

And it's not cus she wants to see me pucker my lips and blow...

It's cus she loves me.

2. Courageous Cat.

Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse are a crime-fighting duo. A cat and a mouse. Obviously. I think they lived in a Cat Cave.

They had one arch villain that was a bloated little frog that looked and dressed like a gangster. He sounded like Edward G. Robinson and always said:

"Aw, aw, cuz I'm the frog, seeee?"

Xander is my cartoon and comic book buddy.

He's the X-man.

Oz was pretty good too, especially with Superman facts, but he's gone now.

I miss him.

Not that I'd change things with Willow and Tara.

They're just so fucking cute together.

But Willow and Oz were too.

I guess sometimes you just need the love of a good woman...

Buffy seems to think so.

But Angel is our dude, and everything is workin' out swell there. He's a great friend.

Maybe the Wiccas and Fur-Face will wind up the same way.

Hope springs eternal...

...but Faith's gonna spring a leak.

I gotta piss.

"I gotta piss," I say.

"Buffy, you put your lips on that mouth?" Red asks.

Xander grins.

"I bet it's not only her lips," he jokes.

"Well, she does have two sets, Xan, but technically speaking, you're right. And she also-"

"-just go to the bathroom, Faith," Buffy interrupts.

I grin and kiss her in passing. I wiggle my eyebrows at everyone, and point a finger back and forth to her lips and my mouth.

"What was sh-she referring to, Buffy?" Tara asks puzzled.

Willow says, "I'll tell you later, Tara."

"Or maybe you can show her!" I yell from the bathroom.

I hear Xander laughin'.

Hey, a little anal-lingus never hurt anybody.

"OH MY GOD, I CAN'T SEE. I'M BLIND."

I have my hands outstretched in front of me, pretending to bump into things.

"We warned you, Helen Killer," Buffy mumbles, brushin' her teeth.

She leans over to rinse, and I bump my crotch into her ass.

She straightens up and looks at me in the mirror.

I squint my eyes, "Oops," I turn away and I bang my hands on the wall, causing her to turn around and say:

"You should listen to me next time."

I swing my arms around in the direction of her voice. I take a peek and aim for her breasts.

Contact!

"Faith!" she scolds, as I grope her.

"What? I was listening to you, that's how we blind people navigate. I'm honing my senses. Hearing..." and I cock my head, "...smell..." and I sniff the air, "...and feel," I grope her some more.

She slaps my hands away.

"That's 'vision impaired'," she corrects, gettin' all P.C. about it. Then she says:

"Brush your teeth and come to bed. I want to talk to you."

"What about, B?"

"Brush your teeth and come to bed," she repeats.

So I do. I change my clothes and walk into the bedroom.

"Nice combo, Faith. It makes sense."

I have on some really baggy Scooby-Doo boxer shorts that B got me, and my Rob Zombie T-shirt.

Cartoons and Corpses.

Of course it makes sense.

I climb up on the bed and crawl under the covers. She snuggles up next to me, her mouth on my shoulder.

"What's up, B? What do you wanna talk to me about?"

She doesn't say anything for a moment, like she's thinkin'. Her mouth is slightly open, and I can feel her teeth in my shoulder and some drool seepin' through my shirt.

She's thinkin' hard.

"Baby?" I ask.

She makes that little slurpy sound and pulls back. She wipes my sleeve.

"Sorry," she pauses, "Umm...never mind."

Okay, now that would bother most people.

But not me.

When you're ready, talk to me. I'm not gonna pry it out of you.

I've got better things to do.

"Okay," I say, and then turn on my side to face her, "You wanna kiss a frog, and see if I turn into a prince?"

"Prin-cess," she corrects, like always.

"Whatever."

I really am a sight. From what I can see, that is.

My eyelids are small slits, and I've got bulbous bags under them.

"The ocean called. It wants its salt back," she says, kissin' my eyes, my nose, and my lips.

"Winnie-the-Pooh called. He wants his huney pot back," And I dip a finger in her pussy.

She smiles and moves a little against it.

"Baby?" she asks, all quiet.

"Hmm?"

"Do you love me?"

"Mm-hmm," I move my finger. She moves a little more against it.

"Can my mother move in?"

And my eyes fly open as much as they can. Okay, so they don't move at all, but my finger stops movin' in her pussy.

She laughs.

"I'm sorry, baby. I saw your eyelashes flutter, but that's about it."

Joyce? HERE?

"Baby?" she asks.

"Um...hmm?" I stall.

"Did you hear me?"

Did I hear her...did I hear her...did I hear her...

"What?" I say, like I didn't hear her.

"I know you heard me. Can she?"

"Umm...well..."

"Yes or no, Faith."

"Um. No." I cringe and close my eyes shut tight...ter.

"Why?"

"Well baby, you know...I mean, it's your mom. You know how free we are around here, gettin' naked at all hours of the night, walkin' around naked at all hours of the night, talkin' about gettin' naked at all hours of the night."

She looks at me kind of sad, "Yeah."

"Baby, I mean, I love your mom, but she really doesn't fit into our household, you know? I mean, to visit is great, but not to live. If you asked if Willow and Tara could move in, I'd say yeah, cus they fit in great. They're cool, they're gay, they're mystical like us, and they aren't shocked by our sexcapades. Plus, they're our age."

I kiss her.

"Do you know what I mean, baby?" Please don't be mad, I think.

"Can Willow and Tara move in?"

Huh?

Hooooo-hoooo-hooo! I've been set up!

"You set me up!" I get on top of her and start tickling.

Buffy starts laughin', tryin' to stop my fingers, squirming away.

"H...h...help!" she yells gasping, tears in her eyes.

The door bursts open and two laughing lesbian Wiccas come bouncin' into the room, hurling themselves on top of me. I pretend to defend myself, but let the two girls hold me down as Buffy straddles my waist.

"Say yes! Say yes, or we'll tickle you 'til you do!" Buffy says, pokin' me in the gut.

"Ow! Okay, okay."

She pokes me again, "Say yes."

"Yes," I gasp, laughin'.

The girls release my arms and walk out giggling.

"Good..." Buffy says, "...cus you had no choice in the matter."

And she laughs as I pounce on top of her.

"Did you and Mr. Hose get things straightened out?" I ask Buffy.

"Oh, yes. Ages ago. He was all tied up in knots over that sassy sprinkler head. I told him not to worry about it, cus those types were a dime a dozen...well, more like $6.99 for a dozen at Home Depot, but he got my drift."

Seems like the sprinkler head was startin' some shit with the hose.

Buffy would pull it to water the lawn at the other end, and the hose would get caught on the sprinkler.

"How do you know it's not the hose tryin' to strangle the sprinkler's head?" I ask her.

"Oh, I just do," she says knowingly, "Those guys have a system going. They all get in his way. But this one is the ring leader."

She's seriously demented...but she's mine.

"That's nice, baby," I say, then:

"I think we should pack up the Jeep tonight so we can leave first thing in the morning, if that's alright with you?"

I got myself a Jeep!

It was Buffy's idea. She says I look fine in it...

...but I know she means butch.

"At the crack of dawn, huh?" Buffy says.

"Yep, at dawn's crack."

Dawn. As in the early portion of the day.

But you knew that already.

We were going to L.A. to spend a few days with Cordy and Angel.

It was Gay Pride weekend.

Tara & Red were comin' too.

Xander had been invited to come along, and he was all set to go.

The thought of seeing thousands of lesbian lovers almost made is brain explode. But after he found out Ronald was going to be there, he changed his mind.

"Uh, I think I need to schedule a root canal," Was his excuse.

I really didn't have the heart to tell him he didn't have anything to worry about. Ronald really had moved onto someone else...

...he was still crushin' on Angel, big time.

"Can I drive?" Buffy asks.

Oh no...

She sees the look on my face and gives me a pout.

Unfair!

"Uh, sure, baby..." Who can resist that pout? "...but we'll have to run it by Red and T first," I add.

More like run it over them. Never gonna happen.

"I already checked with them. They said if you were okay with it, then they would be too."

Those weasels.

They probably have a spell or something to keep them from screamin'. I'll have to be sure they hook me up before we go.

"Well, there you go, baby," I say, "But promise me you'll put in the clutch before you shift gears, okay?"

We've only had the Jeep for five weeks and we've had the transmission worked on twice already.

"But I'm not bringing a purse," she says, all Bambi-eyed.

She sees the look on my face and says:

"I'm only kidding, Faith. Take the stick shift out of your ass already."

And that's my point.

The way she drives, someone just may have to. Tara still has a bump on her forehead from last week's incident.

But I just grin.

"Speaking of ass..." I say.

"Yes?" she smiles.

"I was thinkin' we should go upstairs and see how our fluid levels are holdin' up. You know, four-on-the-floor, check under the hood, a little dipstick action, maybe?"

"Oh, definitely. It's always wise to check out one's ride before engaging in travel. But this time, I get to be the Ferrari and you get to play the mechanic."

"Sure, baby. I'd love to slide right under and lube you up a little."

She walks over to the foot of the stairs, one hand on the rail, and looks at me.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Step on it, baby," Wiggling her eyebrows like I do.

And pedal-to-the-metal, I race her up the stairs.

The End